


And Wake Me With The Morning Light

by lightshinesthru



Series: Before I go to Sleep [3]
Category: Kingsman: The Secret Service (2015)
Genre: Developing Relationship, Eggsy feels, Harry feels obviously, Harry is a bit of a shit at first, I'm so mean to Harry, Jealous Harry, Jealousy, M/M, Merlin feels, Romance, Roxie is the best bro, Self-Esteem Issues, but I love him, but he gets over it
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-07-21
Updated: 2015-07-21
Packaged: 2018-04-08 21:58:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,694
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4322274
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lightshinesthru/pseuds/lightshinesthru
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>This is a prequel and tells some of the story wherein Merlin, Eggsy, and Harry become Merlin/Eggsy/Harry. Harry has some serious jealousy issues at first but he'll figure it out.</p>
          </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is a prequel and tells some of the story wherein Merlin, Eggsy, and Harry become Merlin/Eggsy/Harry. Harry has some serious jealousy issues at first but he'll figure it out.

Arthur called me in for a mission debrief. The whole operation went tits up when I learned the mark took a more than professional interest in me. I was supposed to be an arms dealer looking to sell a cache of Finnish NSV machine guns that I happened to locate in the wake of V-Day. The mark, Dr. Jones, reminded me of a Kingsman and if he wasn’t selling enriched uranium to countries trying to build nuclear weapons and setting himself up as the biggest player in illegal international weapons trading then perhaps he would have been allowed into the fold. He was a soft-spoken man who dressed like Harry. While I wasn’t attracted to him the same way I was with Harry, but I’d be lying if I said he wasn’t intriguing. He was almost a mirror of what Harry could have been if he went with career of megalomaniac instead of gentleman spy. 

 

A Kingsman agent has to think on their feet and it seemed like a good idea to encourage Dr. Jones so I could gain greater access and information than we originally planned. Jones was interested in me when I was all posh accent and bespoke suits, but what made him lose his shit was hearing the chav come out. I observed plenty of times that the posher the bloke the more he enjoyed a bit of rough. I wasn't thrilled about the prospect of having sex with anyone other than Harry, or Merlin but that was a separate issue, I certainly couldn't let that interfere with my work. 

 

Having a lover watching you seduce another man is not a recipe for a happy relationship, but Kingsman agents had to do what others could not. Still this debrief was going to be unpleasant at best. When I came in and saw Merlin present, I almost walked out. This really wasn’t shaping up to be an enjoyable afternoon. Harry and I started seeing one another after he spent a several weeks recovering in Kingsman’s state of the art medical facility. We were all grateful Valentine was a shit shot and that Harry managed to move slightly letting the bullet impact the side of his skull rather than through his eye as was intended. Since we found out Harry was alive, Merlin made sure he and I were never alone together. It hurt because I cared for him and based on the incident on the plane he was definitely interested. It wasn’t fair but I wanted both men and I often wondered if Merlin ever told Harry about the kiss.

 

I knocked on the door and waited for a muffled 'enter' before stepping through. Let it never be said that I cannot learn. “Galahad, please have a seat.” Harry gestured to one of the antique chairs. I hated them because they looked ridiculous and were incredibly uncomfortable. I figured Chester designed them to keep people from relaxing. I sat and tried not to look as awkward as I felt.

 

“Arthur, Merlin.”

 

“Your last mission, tell me about why you changed the parameters of the engagement.”

 

I held back a sigh, it was a legitimate question but not one I was keen to answer. Sometimes I wished Harry was just another agent so we wouldn’t have to talk about moments like this. This was one of the times when I was grateful for my talents with mimicry. I could pull off professional and posh from watching Harry and Merlin interact with other agents and staff, “The target indicated interest in a more personal relationship. As you know, it’s not uncommon for agents to use sexual relations to gain additional information. In this case it allowed me to gain access to his computer terminal and mobile. I deemed it worth the risk and took the opportunity.”

 

Harry leaned back in his chair and shared a glance with Merlin. It never boded well when those two conspired about me. I tried not to let myself become frustrated, but they were practically having a conversation with just looks. It was a conversation about me but one that I was not party to, which was insulting. But you never crossed Arthur or Merlin, certainly not both. So I kept my mouth shut.

 

“While I agree that the information you obtained was useful and could help to track down other buyers you risked yourself unnecessarily by engaging with a mark outside of mission guidelines. By endangering yourself, you endanger Kingsman and all of its agents.”

 

“Don’t think it’s me endangering Kingsman that’s bothering you mate.” So apparently a few sly comments and professionalism goes out the window. Excellent work Eggsy, that will go over so well.

 

“I won’t brook insubordination Galahad.”

 

I’ve never dealt well with that tone. The crisp aristocratic tones laced with utter disdain. Condescension was something I hated from Chester King, Charlie, and a host of other posh toss pots but I never thought to hear Harry use it toward me. It set my teeth on edge and brought out my worst attitude. I crossed my legs and gave Harry a smug toothy smile that I was sure didn’t reach my eyes.

 

“Bruv ain’t you ‘eard? Proper gents always like a bit of rough. ‘S not jus’ you, ya know. Don’t feel bad guv, Merlin had a piece too.” I knew it was the worst way to react, but I couldn’t seem to stop myself. The marginally sane part of my brain was shouting at me to shut the hell up but the damage was clearly done. The look on Harry’s face said I might not last much longer in Kingsman. His expression was blank and he turned to glance at Merlin though I couldn’t say what his expression meant. I wanted to look at Merlin but he was just far enough back that I couldn’t see him in my peripheral vision. I tried to keep my posture relaxed but I felt my hands twitching and I debated whether an apology would even make a difference at this stage.

 

“You’re dismissed Galahad.”

 

“Harry, I….”

 

“I said you’re dismissed. Do take yourself to medical for the requisite testing. You have the next two days off.”

 

Harry’s voice was sharp and cold. I felt a piece of myself shrivel up, of course I fucked up the best thing I’d ever had. If there was one thing I had a stellar history with it was fucking up good things. Hell Harry recited a list to me when we first met, as if I could forget all the times I made shit choices. I always knew it was only a matter of time before Harry realized he was too good for me. Merlin clearly already knew since he was avoiding me. I left with my head up and blinking rapidly to keep the tears in and I refused to sniff though I felt that coming. As I left Merlin and Harry were talking though I didn’t bother to stay and listen. I followed Harry’s direction to medical. The thing I hated most about Kingsman was the lack of privacy. The staff and handlers and seemingly everyone had to know every step you made as an agent. Medical knew why I was there, of course they did, and it didn’t bother them. They had seen everything and weren’t easily surprised, so a simple STI panel after a mission didn’t even cause them to bat an eye. The nurse said they would let me know if there were any issues.


	2. Chapter 2

Normally I went to Harry’s place after a mission. After the disagreement I wasn’t sure where to go but I knew I wasn’t welcome there. I didn’t want to visit my mum because she still wasn’t keen on Harry and would talk a load of shite about him. There was an old pub several blocks from Kingsman where Roxy and I went a few times and I texted her to meet me at there since she was back from Belarus. I ordered two pints and picked a corner table. Roxy was one of the best things about Kingsman. She was smart and always gave decent relationship advice something I was sorely in need of at the moment.

 

“Sorry that took so long. Percival and I had to run interference between Merlin and Arthur.”

 

“What d’you mean?”

 

“They were at each other’s throats. I believe they traded a few blows before we arrived.”

 

I paled and looked down at drink which was almost done. My stomach was in knots because I knew that it was my fault. Those two had been friends for over twenty years and as soon as I open my stupid chav mouth, they’re fighting. Roxy was staring at me her senses almost as good as Merlin, he probably taught her to read people.

 

“Eggsy? What’s wrong?”

 

“It’s my fault, innit? Because I mouthed off to Harry.”

 

“You mean Merlin and Harry? How is that your fault?”

 

“Because I told him, didn’t I? About Merlin and me. He was already pissed about the mission because of the way I got the information. I’ve never seen him like that Rox, he looked at me like I less than nothing.” Roxy was one of the few people I felt I could be myself with and not be judged. Right now I was a few seconds shy of breaking down.

 

“Eggsy, you do know Merlin and Harry are in a relationship don’t you? I wouldn’t have said only everyone else knows.”

 

“Wait…that’s not…that can’t be right. They would have said. Because me and Harry we’ve been…since he was back.”

 

“You _are_ daft. They both care for you and I think they believed you were aware of their relationship since it’s quite common knowledge. For an espionage agency very little is kept secret at Kingsman. They gossip worse than old men. I’ve never heard of them inviting another person in because they’re quite possessive. Perhaps they didn’t think you’d be interested in them both.”

 

“Not interested? Roxy have you seen them?”

 

“Don’t be ridiculous. By standard social norms they are very attractive, but they aren’t my preference.”

 

“Do I want to know your preference?”

 

“Does it really matter?”

 

She sounded genuinely curious. I’d wondered about her because she was lovely and could certainly get any bird or bloke she set her sights on, but she didn’t seem interested. So no it didn’t matter. I grinned and shook my head. She tipped her glass and went to get the second round. There was a chirp on my phone. It was a text from Merlin asking if I was busy which was beyond bizarre. He never sent me texts unless it was to tell me to get my ass to HQ for a mission. I sent him a message that I was with Roxy at the pub, though it seemed like he could have learned that on his own with little to no effort. There was a pause long enough that Roxy had our drinks and was back at the table. She arched a brow at the chirp. I read the message and downed the lager in one go.

 

“So which one was it?”

 

“Merlin. He asked me to meet him at Harry’s place.”

 

“Do you want another before you go? You might need it.”

 

“Best to have most of my wits about me. Ta luv, I’ll see you around.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I could not find a good place to stop this chapter so it's kind of long. There may be a an epilogue chapter.

There was a Kingsman cab outside waiting for me which would have surprised me a few months ago but which seemed normal now. I fought the urge to chew my nails because I knew Harry disliked the habit. He did love his lectures about a gentleman’s grooming. I couldn’t stop myself from fidgeting and arranged the drinks and glasses several times before we arrived. I thanked the driver and realized I had to get out. Whatever faults I had being cowardly had never been one, but then I’d never had much to lose. I climbed the steps to Harry’s door and it opened as I raised my hand to knock. Harry stood there in just a crisp white button down with the sleeves rolled up his forearms. The first three buttons were undone and I couldn’t stop my gaze from lingering on his throat. There was still a healing mark from a few nights before. I finally looked at his face and noticed a split lip and purpling bruise on his cheek. I reached part of the way up to touch his face but stopped myself remembering that Harry didn’t want someone like me touching him anymore. He didn’t look angry or cold any longer, he looked tired and like the man I loved even if I hadn’t said it yet. I don’t know what he saw in my face, but it made him sad.

 

“Please come in. Merlin is in the living room. I’ll fetch us some drinks.”

 

“You don’t have to, I’ve just been at the pub.”

 

“I think we’ll all need something before the end of the night. Go ahead and I’ll be along in a moment.”

 

I don’t know if the cold harsh man at office was worse or the beaten down Harry in front of me. The living room would probably make the people on those antique shows wet themselves with excitement. I doubted anything was from this century or even the last one. If I met Harry outside of Kingsman I would have thought he was professor, though one from old money. Merlin was seated on a couch and looked up as I entered. He had a bruise forming on his eye and his glasses were off. It was one of the few times I had seen him without them. His stubble was increasingly obvious and I forced myself not to stare or  _want_ with such intensity. 

 

“He hit you with your glasses on? That’s dangerous, you could have shards in your eye.” Merlin smiled and it was genuine and fond, not just the smirks he often used. I stopped myself before I thought of reaching out to him. Merlin didn’t seem to like being touched and he had laid agents out for trying. I sat in a chair near him but left the couches empty.

 

“I didn’t have them on at the time. Even when he’s angry Harry wouldn’t do anything that could cause permanent harm. I can’t always say the same for myself.”

 

Harry brought in a crystal decanter and I shook my head. It was just odd. He poured three glasses of scotch. I intensely disliked the liquor, but Harry and Merlin enjoyed it so I didn’t comment. They each took a fortifying drink but I just held mine. I didn’t know what this was about but if this was how it started it probably wouldn’t be good.

 

“I would like to apologize for earlier Eggsy. I was an unmitigated ass and wholly out of line as your superior and as your lover. I don’t expect you to just forgive me, but I wish to offer my apologies regardless.”

 

“You…what? Figured you were here to sack me or break up with me.” Part of me wondered if I wasn’t going to be killed or at least have my memory erased. An apology was pretty much the last thing I imagined.

 

“Why on earth would I do either of those?”

 

“Well earlier…” I didn’t really want to say it because even though it didn’t make sense I was worried if I said it Harry would realize he was too good for me. Which would lead to the inevitable break up and I understood much better now why dating your boss was a terrible idea.

 

“Earlier you looked at me like…like Chester did before I killed him.” It was a stupid thing to say and a horrible reminder of why Harry was now Arthur. Probably it was bad form to remind your current boss you killed his predecessor. I couldn’t bring myself to look and him or Merlin. I stared into the amber liquid in a beautiful faceted cut crystal glass. 

 

“Eggsy, can you please look at me?”

 

Reluctantly I raised my head and met warm brown eyes. Harry moved forward and knelt in front of me. He raised his hand slowly to my face. There was a depth of emotion in his gaze that I couldn’t accept. I knew, had always known, that Harry and I had an expiration date. One day he would realize that I wasn’t someone he wanted forever.

 

“I should have said something sooner, but I assumed you knew.”

 

“I know you ain’t like him and you’re with Merlin. I mean I didn’t know that, Rox told me earlier. You’re a good bloke Harry, but I knew we wasn’t gonna last. You don’t have to go on about it.” I tried to smile, but it was brittle and false.

 

“You ridiculous boy I wasn’t finished. A gentleman never interrupts. I meant that I assumed you knew how I felt about you. How…we felt.”

 

I started to interrupt despite what Harry said but he pressed two fingers to my lips.

 

“As I was saying, you must realize…surely you realize that I love you. I know I haven’t actually said the words but you must have known.”

 

I don’t think I’ve ever felt at such a loss for words. I’ve always been good at bullshitting people but I seemed to have lost the ability to speak. My mind was cycling through all the time I’d spent with Harry and every time he saw me his features softened and he smiled just slightly. He always laid a hand on my shoulder or arm when he was nearby. I realized he never did this with anyone, well anyone except Merlin. I looked at the other man who was watching us with an almost wistful expression. He schooled his features back into a blank smirk when he saw me watching him.

 

“What about Merlin?”

 

“What about me?”

 

“You haven’t even been able to stay in the same room as me since…well since the plane.” I glanced at Harry still worried about how he was taking the information that something happened between Merlin and me. Even if we didn’t realize he was alive at the time.

 

“Why do you think that is?”

 

“I figured you were just looking to blow off some steam, like with me and Tilde.” If I hadn’t been paying attention to his face, close attention, I might have missed the slight tensing of his jaw. Even if I wasn’t an expert at micro-expressions like him I read that look. I remembered on the plane, he was jealous. I didn’t realize it still bothered him.

 

“I told you I don’t share well. Harry could certainly attest to that fact. You are an entirely unexpected variable. Of course I knew Harry was interested in you. I knew he would never act on it, and I’ll admit it colored some of our earlier interactions. But it was wholly unexpected when I developed feelings for you. It took years for Harry and I to become close. Perhaps I’ve mellowed in my old age.”

 

“Don’t be ridiculous darling, you’re unpleasant as ever you were. I do believe it’s more to do with Eggsy than you becoming more charming or sociable.”

 

The conversation was utterly surreal. Merlin opening up was surely a sign of the end of days, that coupled with V-Day made me wonder however briefly if Armageddon was upon us. I wondered how it was that I never noticed these two were involved. Their easy familiarity and the softly barbed comments were something only people with long happy relationships could boast. I realized how differently they behaved with others. Harry was cool and professional whereas Merlin was sarcastic and aloof. Though he did seem rather fond of me and Roxy.

 

“What’s this to do with me?”

 

“Merlin has been charmed by you, just as I was. He told me about the incident on the plane, of course. He just assumed you wouldn’t be interested since I was alive. I believe he thinks of himself as a consolation prize, as it were. Naturally, I’ve told him he’s being ridiculous but he doesn’t seem to believe me.”

 

I tried to imagine the indomitable Merlin seeing himself as anything other than amazing and failed. He was a genius and Kingsman wouldn’t last a day without him. The codename could not have been more apropos because he was a fucking wizard. He hacked Valentine’s network and would have been able to stop everything if not for the biometric system. Valentine who was the foremost computer genius in the world couldn’t stop Merlin. That wasn’t even touching on the fact he was dead sexy and fit as fuck. The man dressed like a grandfather and I still had trouble stopping myself from snogging the bastard silly. When I saw him in the pilot outfit it was the most fitted clothing I’d ever seen on the man. I popped the world’s most inappropriately timed boner. Perhaps I might have posed for Merlin in my new bespoke suit when we were on the way to Valentine’s bunker. And I certainly didn’t miss the gleam of appreciation in his eyes or the compliment he paid me. Merlin was never one to hand out compliments. I had plenty of fantasies featuring Merlin ordering me on my knees and telling me exactly how to get him off with those long hands wrapped in my hair. It may have been at least half the reason I let my hair grow out during training. So I could not fathom how Merlin could ever think he was a consolation. It never occurred to me that the two men who embodied everything I wanted to be could both be interested. While Harry could wax poetic about his feelings I found myself reverting in my response.

 

“You ain’t stupid, bruv, so quit acting like you are.”

 

“Meaning?”

 

“You know what I mean. You know I’m interested and all. You’re getting your knickers all twisted because you think I like Harry better. That’s a load of shite.”

 

Harry was remarkably quiet during the interaction. I imagined he agreed with me that Merlin was aces. If nothing else Harry would never spend so long with someone just because he was waiting for someone better. Their relationship could not be easy given Harry’s role as an agent and Merlin’s as a handler. Harry stood and moved to sit next to his partner. He laid a hand over the other man’s clenched fists because Merlin was terrible with confrontation it would seem. More likely he was shit at emotional conversations. 

 

“You know he’s right. I’ve told you many times you’re the only person I want. Eggsy too of course, but I would never have you think it’s because I’m tired of you. I’ve been terribly unfair to you over the years haven’t I? You were always so angry after the honeypot missions but it was worse when I unexpectedly seduced someone. You would always tell me I couldn’t understand what that was like, sitting back and watching my lover charm someone else and at least physically enjoy it. What did I always tell you?”

 

“You…you said that they didn’t matter because you would always choose me. Come back to me.”

 

Harry turned to look at me and Merlin dropped his gaze. There was shimmer in his eyes and I had difficulty reconciling how upset the handler was about those types of missions. There was a reason Kingsman agents were fit and attractive, there were many times that was used to their advantage. Harry was cultured and gorgeous so of course people would be panting over him. I realized how upset Merlin might have been after the incident with Tilde, especially since he believed Harry was dead. I often felt like shit for that brief time with the princess, but never more so than at that moment. I felt my throat close with unshed tears. Clearing my throat I managed to croak out the sincerest apology I had ever offered another person, though my voice wavered and I was less that eloquent. I couldn’t look at him because I was ashamed and it made so much more sense why he was avoiding me.

 

“I didn’t share that to make you upset. Darling boy, I told you because when you did exactly what I had done for years, I treated you so terribly you thought I was ending our relationship. That I reminded you of Chester for even a moment, I can’t forgive myself for that. Merlin has been too gracious over the years. I pompously believed he was being silly for worrying about work-related infidelity but after today, well I think he’s been quite the paragon. After just one incident with it I turned into everything I hate. Seeing you with that man was…difficult. Merlin pointed out how hypocritical my actions were. So I’m very sorry darling.”

 

I wanted to look at Harry and Merlin, but my eyes were watering. Fuck. Keep it together Unwin. Despite my best efforts to keep my tears in check I felt them slip down my cheeks. I was about to wipe my face with the back of my hand but Harry, ridiculous fastidious Harry produced a handkerchief for me to use. I let out a watery chuckle wondering how I managed to get so lucky that these two amazing men were interested in me. No matter how many times I tried to tell them I wasn't that special they contradicted me. Harry often with kisses and whispered words of 'don't be ridiculous darling'. Even though Merlin and I only had a brief moment on the plane he would give me lists of reasons why I was special or talented. It was such a difference from my life with Dean where I was never good enough that I still had trouble reconciling the it all. 

 

"So I'm not sacked then?"

 

"Of course not. I think we should discuss things between all of us going forward, but I'm not sure this is the best time for that."

 

I felt like I should leave since it was me that kept Merlin and Harry from being together since his return. Though I wanted nothing more than to stay, it didn't seem right. I fiddled with the glass trying to decide whether I could ask to sleep in the guest room without sounding presumptuous. I was surprised when Merlin was the one that spoke first. 

 

"If you'd like you could stay here tonight." 

 

"Yeah, thanks. The guest room is nicer than any place I ever stayed at the estates." 

 

"That wasn't..."

 

"If that's what you would prefer then certainly Merlin and I wouldn't wish to impose." Merlin looked frustrated and Harry looked less than thrilled, but accepting. Merlin started whispering to Harry and I suppose they assumed I couldn't hear, but they weren't exactly whispering quietly and I was in the same bloody room. 

 

"Harry, you bloody well know I didn't mean that." 

 

"It doesn't matter. Eggsy expressed his choice and we will respect that. Even if we wish otherwise." 

 

I blinked several times trying to follow the conversation because it was simple enough and yet so very complicated. So I decided to be a little shit, because I'm good at it and they both seemed to find it charming. "You know I'm right here. Also not deaf."

 

Merlin smirked and Harry looked nonplussed. 

 

"I meant you could stay with us. I've not had a chance to sleep with Harry, just sleep in some time and before you get upset I'm not angry. But I think we might all enjoy a quiet night in." 

 

I couldn't help the snort as I tried to hold in a laugh. Both men looked less than pleased so I held up my hands. "Sorry, s'just I never figured Merlin as the cuddly type." 

 

"Darling boy, he's part octopus." 

 

"Yeah, alrigh' then." Because when you have two dead sexy super spys who want to cuddle with you is there any other appropriate response? 


End file.
